I suggest you demand that he goes to HR with a complaint about her. You demand that he tells HR to formally communicate to her in writing that she is to have no contact with your husband unless it is work related. Demand that she signs something to this effect and he receives a copy of it to show to you
If he is unwilling to go to HR that, in my opinion, says he wants to continue to communicate with her.
The only reason I found out what my wife was doing is because I trusted my gut. A long time ago I worked for a private investigator and the best advice I ever received in life was Kid, trust your gut, if something feels off it probably is.
Until he ceases all communication with her you are rightfully going to be suspicious
You are absolutely Justified that he no longer attends any work socials. He put himself into this situation and now he gets to deal with the consequences. If he balks or pushes back that tells you that he values the social interaction more than saving his marriage
An affair causes permanent changes in a relationship. I now have a rule that my wife does not attend any mixed social events without me present. I was never comfortable with coworkers going out drinking after work because the majority of Affairs start with co-workers. Add in a social setting and alcohol and trouble begins
Someone who is 100% committed to reconciliation will drag his or her bare butt through broken glass if need be
