SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi there.

After 26 years together, not being able to recover from an affair 10 years ago, we have accepted that I just cannot get past things and we are to separate - I am looking to move out by the end of the year.

I am still in love with my partner and she will always be my best friend.

I will still have regular contact, for the time being, in relation to our son.

However, I realise that this is likely to stop when my son is older.

How do I deal with the thought of losing my best friend as well?

Can exes still be there for eachother in the long term?

[This message edited by Anon1983 at 9:48 AM, Friday, May 16th]

I am sorry you are going through this.

But yes - there are many amicable divorces that do evolve into a new type of relationship. My old neighbors were like that. They divorced years ago but they still have a close relationship decades later.

What does your partner want the long-term relationship to look like?

i had to go as low contact as possible for my mental health right after we separated. We didn’t have kids, but had to deal with the insurance and hassle after losing our house in a wildfire during our limbo period. I found it really hard to talk to him right after the separation— kinda like picking a scab. It’s a few years out now and I can be civil, even semi-friendly when I need to talk to him (very rare).
But it took a few years of healing.

For your DS’ sake, you will need to be cordial, but no more. Take the time you need to heal. And then see what develops.

A good friend of mine’s wife cheated on him with his best friend and they had two daughters. It’s been 10+ years now and they are fine when going to DD’s graduations etc. But he has healed and moved on, too.

Time. It takes time.